EMOTIONAL CONTROL METHODS FOR YOUNG ADULTS AND TEENAGERS IN KATHMANDU

Materialistic approach to life has made people grow very fast in physical and technological fields, while the inner satisfaction of the self has been underestimated. A simple definition of "mature" is having completed natural growth. Generally, physical and mental maturity comes with age for everyone. But very little attention do people give towards excelling the emotional maturity in life. Emotional maturity is the basic foundation of calm, peaceful and happy life. Though people seek a way of happy life, they tend to harbor temporal entertainment, based on physical and sensual pleasures. Without being matured internally at emotional and spiritual level, lifelong satisfaction cannot be achieved. Emotional maturity is the seed to calmness and stability in life. This study aims to outline the attributes to emotional maturity in young adults and teenagers. The objective is to understand the emotions of the self and managing them without repressing. It also aims to identify the strategies to come to terms with the emotional weaknesses and replacing them with positive attitudes. Deep and strong feeling towards someone or something is emotion. It is the result of the deeply seated inner conscience and can be manifested through actions when the intensity is very strong. It is expressed as a reaction to some stimulation or provocation. The emotions rooted in the sub consciousness are retrieved when a person comes under influence or be affected by what it is in contact with, i.e., emotions are the reactions to what sense perceives. According to Wikipedia, ‘emotions are the various bodily feelings associated with mood , temperament , disposition , and motivation and also with hormones .’ The strength of emotion varies according to the intensity of the arousal. They have both psychological as well as physical effect. The process of emotion involves the subjective experience of emotion, i.e. sense perception, followed by thought reactions to the situation. This is turn causes physiological reactions like increase in heart rate, hormonal, or other physiological reactions, and then emotion-related behavior like actions or facial expressions related to emotion. This intense, brief period of emotion can trigger a long array of smaller, similar emotions afterwards. Emotional maturity is to understand the subtle process of the stimulating environment and place the self to minimize the destabilizing influences and the ups and downs of the material world. Since the sense perception is the door to the cycle of emotional outbreaks, the practice to be aware and witness the self detached from the sense organs will help develop emotional stability. The soul conscious stage helps in building self stability and calmness while the body conscious stage is vulnerable to outer sensual stimuli. With such practice of soul consciousness, the perception of an event or behavior as pleasant or unpleasant, advantageous or disadvantageous has less impact and their power to affect diminishes. Neutrality in the face of different stimuli and provocation allows us to maintain inner stability and turn to the inner dimension more easily. Keys to emotional maturity include self esteem , clarity and a stable sense of integrity . Dissolving mentor damage to find inspirational mentors for living the life builds maturity. Emotional maturity is learning to develop love to its fullest extent so that it becomes our chosen response — the automatic channel into which we divert the stream of all other human emotions. An emotionally mature person displays certain characteristics that are a joy to experience. They are composed, patient, compassionate, determined, reserved, cultured and refined, yet remain joyful and happy. One sign of maturity is that you can be right without needing to make others wrong. Maturity includes honesty, frankness, perseverance and responsibility. Purposeful: Emotionally matured people have defined goals in life and are not driven away by small temptations. Mature people live by values. They have principles that guide their decisions. They are determined to follow their ethics regardless of any obstacles or hurdles.. Self-esteem: They maintain self esteem and have patience, inner fulfillment, enjoy life, experience self as a source of love. Because of self esteem, they are capable of facing unpleasantness and frustration. They are unshaken by flattery or criticism. Mature people can receive compliments or criticism without letting it ruin them or sway them into a distorted view of themselves. They are secure in their identity. They remain introverted and have stability.. Self-control: They have self control and know to accept and control passions, emotions, desires, choose what is right. They are wise at taking appropriate decisions and handling stress. Their decisions are based on character not feelings. They are able to progress beyond merely reacting to life’s options, and be proactive as they live their life. Their character is master over their emotions. They are able to control anger, settle differences, and cope with crises. They remain resourceful and maintain self-control under stress, settle conflicts peacefully, solve problems without complaining. Responsibility: They take up responsibility and are accountable for own actions, finances, work habits. They are able to keep long-term commitments and are reliable, dependable and resourceful. They persevere to complete projects. They keep the decisions and takes responsibility for own decisions.. Humility: Humility parallels maturity. Humility isn’t thinking less of the self. It is thinking of yourself less. Humility is acquired slowly through the process of melting ego. Mature people aren’t consumed with drawing attention to themselves. They see how others have contributed to their success and can even sincerely give honor to their Creator who gave them the talent. This is the opposite of arrogance.. Gratitude: Mature people like themselves. Immature people presume they deserve everything good that happens to them. Mature people see the big picture and realize how good they have it, compared to most of the world’s population. They prioritize others before themselves. A mature person is one whose agenda revolves around others, not self. Certainly this can go to an extreme and be unhealthy, but a pathway out of childishness is getting past your own desires and beginning to live to meet the needs of others less fortunate. . Wisdom: They seek wisdom before acting. A mature person has insight and is understanding, teachable. They don’t presume they have all the answers. The wiser they get the more they realize they need more wisdom and learns from experience. They’re not ashamed of seeking counsel from adults (teachers, parents, coaches) or from God, in prayer. Only the wise seek wisdom. . Clean and clear conscience: An emotionally matured person has clear conscience and so the lifestyle is clean and transparent. The person has trust on self conscience to alert and is able to discern anything wrong that anyone is doing or about to do. No one is able to deceive such person because they feel the impact and clarity of honesty. . Self-sufficiency: There is a sign of calmness and cheerfulness in the face of a matured person. The person is comfortable in solitude and does not feel loneliness or abandonment. There is no worry about what will happen to you but have faith. There is a good intuitive sense of difference between need and greed. The person is ready to work with whatever is available. . Non-interference and non-triangulation: The matured person does not get caught up or interfere in people’s disagreements or problems with each other. Uninvited triangulation or involvement in criticism of another’s behavior is avoided. The person doesn’t have the attitude of seeing character defects in others, there is respectful and fraternal attitude towards others, focusing on original spiritual qualities. Given the signs of emotional maturity, it is the art of living in peace with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which should be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference. Emotional maturity is a prerequisite for lasting happiness. It is associated with self esteem and a sense of integrity. Emotional maturity is the result of continuous effort to practice introspection and choose to delve into the origin of the negative emotion and trying to come to terms with it. It requires practice of perceiving an event from three aspects of time, reflecting upon past, present and future so as to gain full clarity and understanding about it. Past has regrets and future is uncertain. Use of meditation to remain consciously in the present makes mind powerful to take charge of life and make perfect use of each moment. Meditation helps in accumulating inner powers to accommodate and reframe a situation, looking at it in another light, making it positive or neutral and easy to let go of. The more one takes power through meditation, the more it helps in being free of the mental and emotional bondages. Emotional maturity comes with the intensity of positive thinking. Statement of the problem The vast majority of people are stuck in their emotional growth process somewhere in their adolescent years. Greed, fear, blame, shame, resentments, anger, suffering, anxiety, lust, sadness, depression, inadequacy, confusion, hurt, lonely, guilt, shame are all negative emotions Showing negative emotion in public is considered to be “out of control” and is a sign of weakness and immaturity. Immature behavior often seems to follow childhood trauma or inadequate parenting. Immature people often seem to be stuck at ages corresponding to unhealed abuse or unassimilated trauma. When we get stuck in our emotional development, we cease to learn how to take responsibility for our actions and our lives. When we stop growing emotionally, life becomes overwhelming. postures and manipulative skills. Emotions vary with different age groups. Sometimes it seems that most girls are trained to become women, while many boys are trained to become teenagers. Many teenagers and youth have immature behavior of teasing, being aggressive, ostentatious, disrespecting, being attached to unhealthy, dependent relationships, learning ego defense With the process of natural growth, the emotional maturity is also a necessity for a healthy lifestyle. Since childhood, a person is in the stage of learning by seeing from the surroundings, society, elders etc. A person has a higher tendency to learn and change the self until the onset of professional status. Once a person has fixed the professional lifestyle, it becomes difficult to adapt with the changes in life because the person will have set up a certain personality. But there is fluctuating attitudes especially during the childhood till youth. So the study aims to analyze the emotional degree in teenagers and young adults. The study is based on the targeted group of the Kathmandu city. Learning how to know emotions and release them helps in developing maturity. If a young adult is not trained to be mature, the person remains childish and builds up a defective personality. So the study tries to identify the types of emotional weaknesses in young adults, their causes and knowing the method to identify, evaluate and manage emotions.